I'll start reading tomorrow, I promise....... Then tomorrow will come, and I'll repeat the same phrase again, just to ease my mind. What I didn't realise was this: not only was I was putting myself under extreme pressure, I was also setting myself up for a panic attack.
Naturally I love to read, I can read anything I lay my eyes on, but let me have exams to write, and I practically have to force myself to read (I'm hoping that this doesn't happen to only me..............).
So in the last 2 months, I had exams to study for (you'll know this if you are close to me)........... now this exam is a very difficult and tasking one, so I knew that I had to prepare really hard, however, the spirit of laziness in me decided to rear its head, and I kept proscatinating, I didn't start serious reading until about 6 weeks to the exam: ..........I can imagine what you are thinking yeah?
This was an exam that I needed at least 4 months of preparation for, me ke? as a super woman that I am now, I felt I could read up in 8 weeks and still dust the exams. But you know one thing about proscatination........ Once you start, you can't seem to stop. So my proscatination continued until my exam was 6 weeks away, . I woke up one morning, was reading through my mails, and I saw my exam ticket, Bam!!!!!! reality dawned.............. First thing that happened to me was a panic attack, a very serious one. Having panic attacks is a big deal for me, because I hardly ever get worried (ok maybe I do, I just cover it up well, but I still don't have panic attacks.)
After the first panic attack came the calm period where I became a planner. I started planning my study time amidst all my other engagements (note that it was a very hectic period at work, plus I had other things I had committed myself to). At the planning phase, all I wanted to do was cancel all my commitments............ and this affected my relationships/friendships a little bit *****covers face*****). At this stage I was very serious and I had a very short fuse for rubbish/time-wasting activities. I was taking out my frustrations out on other people....... friends and colleagues that bore the brunt of my frustrations, let me use this media to apologise to you all.......
Stage 3 came upon me soon enough, This stage was the worst of all. It was the stage of near-depression and almost full blown panic attack. At this stage I had less than 3 weeks to the exam and I was not even halfway through with my books. Meanwhile, all the study companions I had were already solving questions and practising with mock exams, and I wasn't even done reading. At this point, I was at the "Mo ku, Mo gbe Mo daran, owo ti jo na stage" that is, I am finished, my money is wasted !!!!!
Yet I couldn't tell people how I felt. I only told a few people who tried to console me, but I was inconsolable. Mumsy would call and pray for me everyday, At this stage, my faith tripled, you know when you haven't really prepared for an exam, and someone prays for you, and you claim the prayer with a forceful Amen.....that was me at this stage.😂😂😂. This was when I remembered that I needed to fast also.............
Did I also tell you that I started getting all sorts of advise at this point. From 'stop reading, just start practising questions (I'm like, how do I solve questions when I don't know anything), to try to get summaries of all courses and read them (na beans? with just 3 weeks to go?). I got all sorts of suggestions, some scared me, some gingered me, some got me upset, some had me laughing...........
Needless to say, those weeks were the most terrifying weeks of 2016!!! what am I saying? Those weeks were arguably the most terrifying weeks of my life!!!!!!! In all, I learnt that no matter how genius you think (or know) you are, if you don't plan and prepare, you are setting yourself up for major failure.....
P.S: The exams went well, but I'm still praying for awesome results. You can assist me with prayers too..........
I hope you enjoyed this, please share with friends and family also.
Thanks.
Till next time,
Lade.........
